Excommunicatin’ The Infidels In Nebraska

As you are probably aware, over the course of the last five years or so, there has been an almost steady stream of news stories detailing the nightmarish tale of sexual abuse within the US Catholic Church. Marauding, philandering, pedophile priests have made virtual careers outa’ preying on unsuspecting cherubic lookin’ alter boys; boys who became sacrificial sex objects in the hands of carnal priests.

This is serious stuff, and because it is, I’ve wondered why the Vatican didn’t take action to bring it to a halt. Beyond a few tepid comments from official church spokesman, who felt compelled to comment with each new revelation, virtually all punitive actions came from secular agencies or individuals; i.e., private law firms or state and local prosecutors with pedofile priests in their cross hairs.

Well, now I can stop wonderin’. I know why the church leaders remained as mute as brass monkeys; they’ve been too busy excommunicatin’ the infidels in Nebraska! If ever there was a place in danger of being taken over by wild eyed, bra burning fema Nazis pushing abortion, along with a cadre of their fellow travelers-- the preverts,--you know, the gay-homo types, the sexual kooks of this world. Well, if there is such a savage, sexual jungle out there, it’s surely in Nebraska.

Now don’t be surprised at that revelation. Nebraska is one strange place with a stealthy past that includes some of the worlds largest elephants, rhinos and even massive herds of camels galloping over the plain. To be sure, I’m talkin’ geologic time that dates so damned far back there, I’d need a fancy calculator to figure it all out, but it’s true. Nebraska was (and, apparently, still is) the home of some pretty damn strange creatures. Now, if you doubt the authenticity of the elephant, rhino, camel history in old Nebraska, you just stop at the University and visit the state natural history museum; they’ve got’em on display.

In terms of Nebraska’s current critters, the priestly preverts, well I guess you could stop at the Diocesan Headquarters in Lincoln and feast your eyes on Bishop Bruskewitz. Now be careful, I’m not suggesting that the good Bishop is a pervert, though he may be, but I am saying that he suffers from a bad case of moral macular degeneration; because of the blind spots, he can’t see much of the sin and suffering that goes on in this world. He could well have some degenerate priests in his priestly army and is just not able to see them. . .you know the classic blind spots blot it all out.

Bishop Law in Boston certainly had that problem. And then there was Arch Bishop Weakland in Milwaukee, but then I guess I shouldn't count the Milwaukee Arch Bishop because, as it turns out, he could see. Poor old Arch Bishop Weakland looked at his boyfriend one day, decided he (the boyfriend) was ugly and told him to get lost–that little parting cost about three or four hundred thousand dollars in blackmail money, and then damn, wouldn’t you know the people of Milwaukee didn’t have a sense of humor about it; they actually wanted him to resign. But, back to my notion that you might just be able to see a prevert if ya just spend a little time where they all seem to hang out. You know, the cathedral and places like that are pretty good places to look; those do seem to be hangouts.

Make no mistake about it, they haven't been notic'in the wild priests because they've been too busy excommunicatin’ the infidels, matter of priorities, I guess. Just the other day (Friday 8 December 2006) Josh Funk, writing for the Associated Press, wrote that, “A Vatican official has upheld the 1996 mass excommunication of perhaps hundreds of people in the Lincoln Diocese affiliated with a church reform group and 10 other organizations the diocese considers anti-Catholic.” Lest there be any confusion about where this Lincoln is located, we’re talking about the capital of the great state of Nebraska.

If you’re at all like me, you are wondering what was going on in 1996 to cause the Church to take such drastic action. “In 1996, [Bishop] Bruskewitz ruled that membership in Call To Action and 10 other organizations was ‘perilous to the Catholic faith and most often is totally incompatible with the Catholic faith.’ The other groups cited include the abortion-rights groups Planned Parenthood and Catholics for a Free Choice, the Hemlock Society, which supports physician-assisted suicide, and several Masonic organizations” (AP Friday 8 Dec. 2006). So, that brings the whole matter into focus. Those Nebraska folks were takin' up with the radical, fringe element I mentioned, the fema Nazis and such.

We do know that whatever those folks did to get kicked outa’ the church, the Vatican didn’t act precipitously. No sir, they’ve been deliberation over there in Rome for a good ten years now.

Hell, who knows, maybe we’ve all been a little too harsh in thinkin’ that maybe somebody really official and all-- you know somebody from the Vatican or maybe even a fancy dressed Bishop-- should have said something about the sexual carnival the priests were runnin' in the churches. Guess they needed time to deliberate, and given the long silence, I guess they're still locked up in thought.

Whatever the case with the long deliberatin' or Rip Van Winkle sleep state those folks are in, I do have an important warning for ya. The next time you start to even think about joinin’ up with some free thinkin’ group, or hell, even a thinkin’ group, you better think twice before you go puttin’ your John Hancock on the dotted line. Fact is the Pope might just be lookin’ over your shoulder with his knee in a cocked position ready, in the blink of an eye, to kick your sweet little ass right outta the Catholic church–excommunicated you’d be! Your shot at heaven down the drain with just that one big kick, and if that’s not what you call a real kick in the ass, I don’t know what is.


Think about it now, the consequences are pretty damned serious, and I do mean damned. Josh Funk the AP writer who presented the story said, “Under excommunication, Catholics cannot receive Holy Communion. They cannot be married or buried in the church. Excommunicated Catholics may be forgiven through the sacrament of confession or may be absolved in their dying hour by a priest.”

Sounds pretty damned serious to me. No marriage rights. . .those excommunicated folks get dumped right into a second class group of citizens who can’t get married . . .you know like the wild-eyed gays who’ve been out their agitating to get hitched up in a marriage of some kind or other. . .seems hard to figure when you think about it.

We’ve got all those damned philandering heterosexuals who are busy bustin’ their sweet little assess tryin’ to figure out how to get outa their marital commitments, and then of course the gays want to get into those commitments, and while this is goin’ on the good Bishop Bruskewitz is bustin asses outta the church. Meaning that if you aren’t married, you can’t get married and, in addition, you’ve just lost your chance at heaven. . .yup!

You get kicked by Bursky, and you’ve lost your burial rights! Seriously! That is one of the consequences of gettin’ tossed. Yup, you’re goin’ to be joining some pretty classic company. . . your old dead, withered bod’s going to be left out there lying on the deserted plain just like Antigone’s fallen brother Polynices who was denied burial rights by King Creon. Polynices was left unburied to be picked apart by the buzzards. Pretty serious. indeed! As Antigone said when she defied her Uncle Creon's order, " I gotta do this, Unk, 'cause B’n dead’s a lot longer than be’n alive, " and she proceded to imperil her own life by placing dirt over her fallen brother's body.

Make no mistake about it Bishop Bruskewitz suffers from the same Orwellian, twisted, upside down morality that ribs Bush White House rhetoric. The war is peace rhetoric we’ve been subjected to over these last six years. Try as I did, I could not find the Bishop’s voice among those condemning the marauding, philandering, pedophile priests, nor could I find any condemnation of Bishop Law and others like him who systematically shuffled pedophile priests from assignment to assignment with no warnings or notifications to law enforcement agencies. And with news reports carrying daily stories of the carnage of war, the Bishop only has time to make public comments about people joining subversive groups like Planned Parenthood. When he did make the national news, it was to courageously declared that he would deny the communion host to the likes of Presidential candidate John Kerry. President Bush’s precipitous rush to start an immoral war at the cost of hundreds of thousands of lives and untallied human suffering didn’t make Bishop Bruskewitz moral screen, escaped his notice completely, but he did and does have time for Planned Parenthood and pronouncements about alter boys. So, I guess all is not lost.

It turns out that Lincoln is the only Diocese in the United States that does not allow girls to serve on the alter in place of boys. Why do you suppose there is such a strict preference for cherubic lookin’ alter boys? The Bishops preference for boys is undoubtedly based upon strict theological interpretations. . .unique though those interpretations may be.

I do think it’s necessary to put these matters into some sort of a workable perspective so that it is possible to function in this difficult world, to get on with the day to day odds and ends that is life. With that in mind, I’ve concluded that if you’re a pedophile or some other kind of a sexual prevert, you’d better avoid some professions. Education, you know teaching, is definitely a no, no. Those folks are tough, they’ll kick your ass outa’ the teaching ranks in the blinkin’ of an eye if you’re caught inappropriately touching some kid or even wearing the wrong kinda looks, but don’t worry there is a safe haven for ya, the United States Congress, that seems pretty safe, and then of course there’s the Catholic Church; they seem to have an unlimited tolerance for aberrant sexual behavior. Yup, everybody's gota place in this good old USA.

“Local and national Call To Action leaders said Friday they would appeal the endorsement of [Bishop] Bruskewitz's order to the Signatura, which acts as a sort of supreme tribunal for the Vatican” (AP Josh Funk).

But does it really matter? Given the speed with which they’ve been addressing these matters, many of us won’t be around to know what they finally decide.


Ever on the watch for ya,
Davy Crockett