Monica, Where Are Ya When We Need Ya? Or, Let's Get Bush a Hooker!

As my previous postings here clearly indicate, I’ve spent a fair amount of time trying to get a fix on our president, and I think it would be fair to say that I’ve ranked him with the lowest of he low for job performance. Indeed, President Harding’s incompetence seemed like a pretty good measuring stick; so, I did see them as competitors for the bottom slot with Bush finally edging Harding for the spot at the very bottom. It didn’t occur to me at the time that Harding’s moral turpitude might just have been a positive, an advantage that kept him from getting into more trouble than was actually the case. That is, time spent fooling around with wild women, strong whiskey and poker with derelict friends didn’t leave him with much time for trying to rule the world, or to send out the army to force a democratic lesson upon some unsuspecting foe.

Well, history does teach a lesson or two; and, ever now and again, I’m perceptive enough to pick up on 'em. I’ve decided, after considerable thought, that we'd all be better off if George W. could get up close and personal with a hooker. .. you know connect with a buxom babe someplace in the White House. . .one of those little used storage rooms off in the back reaches someplace. . .kinda like old Bill did with Monica.

It's entirely possible that, just like President Harding during an earlier period, Bill's preoccupation with that chubby little sex crazed kid might just have saved us from more wars of the type we now endure. Yup, Monica just might be a candidate for a medal of freedom or something along those lines. Who could have guessed what real service she was actually performing for Bill and ultimately the nation. We’re lucky!

I think if we generated enough money, we might even be able to find some greedy street lady to occupy Cheney. . . Now I'll admit, that's a tough one. Could we, in fact, find a street walkin' lady with the right combination of greed and lust to take on such a nasty job; she'd have to be one tough bitch. . .kinda like Lynn?

Now all this might sound preposterous, but think about it. . .these right-wing kooks seem to go for poker, kinky sex and the like. . .remember the Jimmys (Reverends Baker and Swaggert) Oh, and there have been others. It’s gotten so damn bad with the political preachers on the right, that as Mark Twain once said, “If Christ were here today, the last thing he’d be is a Christian.” I guess that was kinda the idea behind John Denver and George Burns movie, Oh God!

Hey, I think even Rummy could be tempted. Maybe we could talk Maureen Down into doing a service for the nation. . .she seems to like him. Think of the money and lives we could save.

Now damn, don't ya go worrin' about the cost of the cute babes with the big perky boobs . .I think we could probably slip a marker or two into one of those multi-billion dollar defense bills, or maybe we could even cancel one of those Alaskan bridges to nowhere. . . with a little creativity there's lots a possibilities.

Ever thinkin’ about how to make it better for ya,

Davy Crockett